Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize