Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
