you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
