is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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