People with herpes should wear stickers.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
