the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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