And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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