I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
