Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
