his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
