where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
