This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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