put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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