Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize