yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
