the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
