I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
