i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
