Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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