it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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