Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
