Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
whose ass print is on the piano?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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