Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
the raccoons are back...
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