where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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