walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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