I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize