the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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