If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
