I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
A bitchslap is in order.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
