He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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