Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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