69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
