I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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