Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
