i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You ate ashes out of my bong
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
