Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
