Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
