I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
