Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
