bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
this hospital has no fireball
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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