I showed him my bush... on skype.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize