I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
