Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
