you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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