I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize