I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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