i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
