I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
