I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
