ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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