my phone needs a breathalizer
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
