i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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