Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
