Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
