last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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