the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
