omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize