I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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