As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize