i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
