if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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