i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
