playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Randomize
