and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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