she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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