My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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