im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
we're so committed to being not committed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
